The Cool House: Mailman's here

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Mailman's here

Normally our mail consists of junk: offers for credit cards we don't want and catalogues we'd never buy anything from, but a few times a year we get something that is so exciting I have to stop whatever I'm doing and read it. Today was one of those days. The Frontgate Catalogue had arrived.
I don't know how we got on the mailing list for this but it has changed my life. Never before have I had the opportunity for so much mockery, and it doesn't cost me a dime. I read it from cover to cover and pick out the most unnecessary item that I could, in fantasy Frontgate world, purchase for my house. In winter it had to be the mobile Popcorn maker, then there was the 7' Papyrus in Urn, a faux plant that would set me back $599, but the winner this issue was the Remote Controlled Pool Shark that apparently speeds through the water just like the real thing. Gotta have one of those.
The best thing about the Frontgate Catalog though, is the "lifestyle articles", where they feature a newly built luxury house, usually around 10,000 sq feet, and interview the proud owners. My favourite? The couple who bought a 1995 house and decided it was too aged, so they tore it down and built a newer, shinier one.
The laughter keeps me going so I can go back and tackle this:

lamp fell

and cracked basin


Anonymous said...

Oh my gawd I'm laughing out loud at this. I could write the very same post! Who shops there?


Anonymous said...

I love this one from the article:

"At this point, we realized we were going overboard, so we decided we might as well not cut corners." That's when she and Hal began turning to Europe for the cabinetry, marble, much of the furniture, and many of the appointments.


Might as well, honey! Where's yr pool shark? I didn't see it in the photo of your Olympic-sized pool! Bwahahahahah!

No, really, I'm down with all that as long as they invite me over for parties so I can nibble on their aged goat cheese tray.

modernemama said...

I know, I know the pool looks awesome, but like everything in the house it has suffered from a few years neglect and needs a major reno, including a new $5000 heater. Given the price of oil, that will happen sometime between 2012 and the twelfth of never. Until then I will dream of the Frontgate $49.95 remote controlled floating drinks trolley.