The Cool House: satire
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Saturday morning marketing rant

Dear Williams-Sonoma

I appreciate that you want to set your email apart from all the other online stores offering a 50% off summer shopping opportunity. And certainly the offer of FREE SHIPPING is inviting but the items you highlight are not in any way "iconic". They may be "favorites" - only you and your shareholders can judge how successful a particular item is. By the way, I will be interested to find out how many examples of the zebra rug in rust/ivory color way are sold because nothing says iconic more than Rusty Zebra. They surely are expensive - that rattan cube will set bargain-hunters back up to $1300 - but iconic they are not. A braided wool rug is a braided wool rug - there's nothing special about this one, so maybe you were being ironic when you wrote the copy? "
Misuse of the word is rampant so let me show you an example of iconic design:

The Eames Lounge and Ottoman; unique, iconic - a cultural symbol identifiable to millions.

Iconic is not a synonym for ubiquitous


Thursday, December 04, 2008

On the White House Holiday Menu

"In the weeks leading up to the holiday, the Bushes will host almost daily parties with some 22,000 holiday cookies, 250 coconut cakes, 600 pounds of asparagus* and 700 gallons of eggnog."

600 pounds of asparagus? Since when was asparagus festive fare? There is an asparagus season where I'm from, it's called May. Call me peculiar but if there's one thing I don't associate with the holidays, it's pee smelling like asparagus in the morning. Gingerbread, maybe, or eggnog, but not a vegetable that inspired this piece of piss-taking on wikipedia: Green asparagus is... the primary source of nutrition for inhabitants of the Atomium in Brussels.
As if that's not strange enough, can you imagine what dishes they are making with the following ingredients*?

Grapefruits 3,000
Pounds of Asparagus 600
Pounds of Cheesy Stone-Ground Grits 300

Secret family recipes, anyone?

*Fun Facts On the 2008 Holiday Season At The White House

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The PalinDrome

You know how I feel about crazy blondes and reality TV. Now I bring to you a new obsession: crazy brunette parodies. Starting with this one. Go ahead, click it. It's safe. Which is more than I can say about some of the policies of the folksy old geezer's choice for VP. Enjoy.
via Very Short List